As the night fell on what was my fourth Mother’s Day caught up in the fucktard clutches of infertility where I’ve watched everyone from Kimmie K to the gorgeous actual Duchess herself sprout out a couple of lil Angels, saints and compass directions, and friends, family and even hairdressers welcome their beautiful bundles… I could have so easily felt woe is me.
But bullshit to that.
I spent the day wrapped up in the safe clutches of my darling boys – all three ov’em and felt nothing but blessed as the holy mother Theresa herself. They spoilt me senseless with love (and a bloody beaut handbag) and I got to choose everything all day…much to their disgust as it did involve being stuck inside a shopping centre most of the day (they did ask, fools).
And when the 12 y o asked what’s the best thing about being a mum? I said, never take it for granted. I’m one of the lucky ones.
But there are the good stories too. There’s my very dear friend who spent many years before me strapped to the fertility coaster, years full of battle and heartache and fear, and is now about to welcome her fourth baby into the world – but this time, pure luck and rather than the need for medical intervention. And another girl I know who spent many light years, and so many more than me, locked in the grief filled stranglehold of babylessness and has just had her second daughter in three years. There’s the friend who thought both her daughters might never have the chance to have children of their own and now she’s got baby grandsons coming out her ears…and another very beautiful friend who thought she might never have another baby is now floating in a cloud of pink with her gorgeous second tiny baby girl.
Yep there are so many shit sodden tales to tell of fear and hopelessness and what ifs and when do I stop. But there are a whole lot of great ones too.
For all the new mummies, almost mummies and one day will be mummies…we all have stars we wish upon, some of is will just be waiting a lil bit longer for the one that picks us.
The best part about being a mum is that I am one. And you lil nugget will always be the best thing that ever happened…the brightest star in the night sky who picked me…
As I write this we three are bout to board a plane Hawaii-bound where I can take my leave of absence from stupid-ass fertility and just be loved. Aloha and lov n’hugs, Lady MamaG xoxo