When I was 10 I used to wear a lilac coloured piece of lace tied around my head in a bow. My favourite outfit was a black lace rahrah skirt (see ’80s fashion tragedy) and a glitter-flecked singlet top with about thirty plastic bead necklaces twisted around my neck. No outfit is complete without accessories and I saw fit to add to this stunning ensemble my most coveted fingerless lace gloves. Yes you did read fingerless and lace in the same sentence (see ’80s fashion that should never come back).

If you are turning your nose up at reading the above then we were clearly not friends in the mid-80s and possibly never will be. By now you may have also worked out the inspiration behind my most bestestly fave outfit to ever be made by some poor sweat shop in India, along with the four LP albums (those were records you used to have to put on a turntable to play), the same four in cassette version, p0sters magazine cut-outs and if I could have got my hands on one, a lifesize cardboard version of her standing beside my wardobe. My favourite movie was Desperately Seeking Susan and I truly believed one day we would perform a duet together.

Enough hints? If not, you need to stop playing along with this game and go and reconnect with your 1984 Atari game console.

Yes its Madge, Madonna, Her Madjesty, Ms Ciccone, or as I liked to call her as a 10 y o, my bestie and future big sister.

If that ain’t style, class and beauty I don’t know what is…?

There wasn’t a day went by in those early tweens where I didn’t fling myself around my peach-toned bedroom singing into my brush every lyric of every song from every album she ever had the endless talent to produce. I thought she was a goddess. An enigma. This incredible woman who had taught me everything from Spanish, to my love for Marilyn Monroe, how to dress like a chick with ‘tood and what being raised as a strict Catholic could do to a girl in love. Shit I loved the face off her.

These days I don’t sing her lyrics quite so much but I’m not even the slight bit shamed to admit I have a few of her goldens on my itunes playlist and when The Vet and the 12 y o are not in the car, I sing the shit out of those puppies with the sound on full tit. In fact, just last night Live to Tell – an all-time classic ballad stopped me in my tracks mid-cooking and may have even glistened a tear in my eye for a second as a boyfriend who dumped me flicked back into my head. Shithead. Lucky for me he’s a dipshit loser now. Thanks Madge, you got me through the hard times, lovie.

I truly thought one day I would meet her. My absolute girl crush. As it happens we might not quite cross paths but in two more sleeps I’ll be singing my lungs out as I watch the Queen of Pop herself (think ’80s version of Tay) sing all my faves and I’ll dance nostalgically back to a time when life was all about lace headbands and cassette tape covers stuck to your bedhead. And all because two very special people, knowing my passion for 80s pop princesses decided to make my dream a reality and as a prezzie for my b’day shouted me a golden ticket to see the Greatest Girl of All Time. I. CAN. NOT. WAIT. Lovn’hugs, Lady MamaG (aka ’80s chick and proud of it) xxoo