I’d be fibbing actually, no, I’d be damn lying if I didn’t say I was nervous as all crap about what is going to be one of the biggest days of my life tomorrow.
After a bit over two weeks of poking, prodding and punching holes in my skin with some rather unsharp needles containing some pretty unflattering drugs, consuming more hormones than is completely necessary for a woman of my age, resulting in enough bloating to rival Bridget Jones in her nana pants (which also means my ENTIRE jeans wardrobe seem to have mysteriously got faulty zippers) and being put to sleep by the nice tall man in his floral surgery cap who struggled to find a good vein for which to thrust his rather thick needle into…it has now finally come…D-day.
So yes, I’d be telling big gigantic porkies if I didn’t say I was more than a little bit of a scardy cat
blithering mess ahead of what is called ‘implantation day’ tomorrow.
That’s where they take the little eggies (which have hopefully, by now, grown to the size of a poppy seed) and slide ’em up inside their mummy’s baby baker with the hope they will then grow into something resembling a zygote in a few weeks’ time.
As you know, waiting isn’t my strongest point as a Scorpion and it has taken all my strength to not go on a crazy baby room decorating spree (seriously, have you seen baby cots these days? Rockin!). And while I may have worked over a few colour schemes and mood boards, I have managed to refrain from purchasing anything except Evie – she is my good luck charm and I wear her every day. I actually picked her up at the Auckland airport when I was flying home at Christmas time. She was part of a collection of jewellery by Kiwi fashion designer Karen Walker – who I did a story on way back when Adam was a boy and she was just starting out. I’ll never forget she wrote me the most beautiful card thanking me for the story, so I decided this would be my good luck charm. I named her Evie after the little girl robot in the kids’ movie WallE and I twist her around in my fingers whenever my nerves get the better of me (which is mostly every single day right now).
I’m fortunate to have the incredible love and support of my beautiful better half, my gorgeous son (even though the end of school hols is driving me to the end of my wick) and all our family and friends in what is a pretty emotional roller coaster of fear, excitement and nerves but all I can think of is that perhaps, just maybe…I’ll be able to hold a tiny piece of my beautiful husband in my arms in nine months time.
Fertility gods, I have been a very good girl. Not one single baby thing bought. Love n hugs, Lady Mama G xox